05/02/2010

Feet 2 and More.

Jan Moir has graced us with another sparkling droplet of her joy juice today.

So it turns out, right, Victoria Beckham has bunions. But not just any bunions, these are now world famous bunions - Or at least they are in the eyes of people who get all their information about the world from the Daily Mail, and in practice I find they know slightly less about current affairs than someone who gets all their worldy info from a drunk child.

See, while the Mail has produced 9 10 stories about a woman's mishapen foot in a little over three months, the Express have ran one, the Star two and The Sun Two. The rest of the world seemingly isn't quite as excited about them as the Mail, certainly not excited enough to mention them three times in a single week - And I'd like to point out that these bunions haven't killed anybody; they've not claimed thousands on expenses that they shouldn't have, or jumped over the walls of Buckingham Palace and tried to force themselves down the Queen's throat, they've just stayed on Victoria's feet, like bunions do. Jan says:

Poor Posh. Imagine having the most famous and most pictured bunions in Britain.

Hardly a tribute to be treasured, is it?


Good point - Can you imagine working for the paper that has ran more pictures of those bunions than anyone else in Britain, rather than reporting on... Ooh, I don't know, proper news, for fuck's sake? It'd be embarrassing. Or rather, it would be, if it didn't add more fuel to Moir's giant shit powered hate machine, which this week has also splattered itself all over Avatar, the most recent potentially Oscar winning James Cameron blockbuster - which Moir has declared 'boring'. So it seems that if you enjoyed the film, you and millions of other people all across the world are just one of the "geeks, sci-fi buffs and those with no interior life". Of course, Moir hasn't seen the film, but seeing as she seems to be studying for her Little Miss Littlejohn badge at the moment, one can understand why reading, research or checking things that aren't in the Mail aren't really important to her.

Of course, Moir's covered the Quiche story as well (Littlejohn did, so Moir has to keep up, see). This was the Mail's lead story the other day, but what's interesting is that to begin with they weren't interested in the story, according to the Leamington Observer, who first broke the story. Originally, the Mail wanted nothing to do with it as The Sun had ran it, but after it was repackaged and they saw its potential as another piece of ZaNuLab Broken Britain propaganda, they took the first available opportunity to scream it from the rooftops and then leave the clamouring hands of the Daily Mail commenters to tear it to shreds with baseless accusation, uninteresting narrative and wit so dull you could bake bread with it - despite the fact that not one other person in the world has actually managed to corroborate this story. Tesco can't find the person responsible, and no-one else has been quoted in the story, but according to the Mail and it happened and that Quiche is representative of everything ClownBrown McIrnBruJockBottle One-eye has done to this once great countrzzzz....

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