Gone Fishin'.

So I decided to buy a domain name. As such, all blogging activity has shifted to here.

Au revoir, Monsieur Blogspot.

I Only Look At The Pictures.

This story is not about Big Brother.

So what picture did the Mail Use on it's homepage?



This one. Which is to do with Big Brother, as you can tell. A cycnical mind might think: "Hmm, Big Brother is quite a popular subject, and this story is tangentially related. Clicky clicky linky linky...." - Which would also go some way to explaining why the headline is also so vague if you don't know what the story's about.

I'll say it now: Daily Mail, you are a bunch of lazy clickbaiting turds. STOP IT YOU SHITBAGS.

Desperately Seeking Something.

This man is 'desperately seeking attention' because of his choice of jewelery.

But when Katy Perry does this:


Then that's fine.

Why? Who the fuck knows. Maybe it's because pictures of a young woman in a rubber dress get more clicks than pictures of domestic abusers wearing video game themed jewelry.

And anyway, he might be desperate for attention, but you've fucking given it him, haven't you? "Look how desperate he is for attention, everyone! Here's another picture begging us for validation! Look, and another one! And a few hundred words about him! Look, he really wants attention but we're not going to gi-Oh, shit. Best write nasty shit about him instead, pass it off as that 'Reporter' account..."

Don't Miss.

Nah, I reckon I'll be alright if I do miss it, cheers.

What Do Flying Ants Look Like?

Cheers, Metro.

OUTRAAAAAAAAAGE.

Uh-oh.

There's more OUTRAGE coming.

I hope you're ready.

[Jeremy Clarkson] provoked a flurry of complaints after telling viewers of Top Gear on Sunday night that he had seen a Muslim woman wearing saucy underwear beneath her gown...

...By yesterday morning, seven viewers had already contacted the BBC to complain, while singer Lily Allen labelled the comment 'distasteful' on her Twitter site.

That's seven. Seven people complained about the most watched show on BBC 2.

And this is 'outrage'.

It's a good thing that the Daily mail have never published anything objectionable that might cause offence, an- OH HANG ON:

The Press Complaints Commission has received a record 22,000 complaints about Jan Moir's article about Stephen Gately since Friday – more complaints in a single weekend than the regulator has received in total in the past five years.

We haven't fucking forgotten about this you know, chaps. People still remember that you published the most complained about article in UK publishing history, and continue to employ the author of it so she can vomit her outdated, outmoded ways all over the internet for reactionary idiots across the country to read, then strip to the waist while running around the garden bellowing about immigrants eating the Queen's swans while wearing a monocle and smoking a pipe while the wife plays an old 45 of 'God Save the Queen'.

Anyway.

Thinking about it, if the Daily Mail were a robot, Clarkson would be the thing that you could use to make it short circuit and explode. He works for the BBC (Boo socialist lefty scum!), but he seems to have a general disdain for the Labour Party, and as a rule holds some rather right-wing views (Whether he believes them or not is a different story).

What's even more confusing is when (like in the comments of this story) Mail readers say that he's just being deliberately shocking, in a paper that prints the myopic and bigoted scribblings of one Richard Littlejohn - a man who writes deliberately hackneyed and controversial views of the world because he knows it will help his image as a man who 'pulls no punches'... Sound like anybody else (With curly hair and a programme about cars) that you know?

To be fair, the top rated comments disagree with the Mail's painfully obvious anti-BBC bias, and I think that quite often the most interesting information you can gleam from the Mail is when the stories and the commenters have differing opinions of the matter. If Clarkson were on any channel other than the BBC, the Mail would laud him as a non-PC hero for the Chipping Norton, big car, middle England, I've-never-seen-a-black-man-but-I've-read-about-them-and-they-sound-horrible set, but because he dare to be employed by an organisation that the Mail almost literally doesn't have a nice word for, he's damned to hell and back.

It's also worth mentioning that while half the story criticises Clarkson for saying what he did, then explaining (With the glee of a pig in shit) that he's been in trouble before, the rest of the article is filled with anti-Burka and Niqab sentiment that is a staple of the Mail. I mean for fuck's sake, if you're going to be a dick and pretend to be mortally offended at someone, don't go disagreeing with them a hundred words later, Christ.

Oh, just to put those seven complaints in perspective:

Top Gear had 5,800,000 viewers on Sunday. That's one complaint per 828,571 people. The Mail has a circulation of around 2,000,000, and received 22,000 complaints for the Gately article. That's one complaint for every 90 people.

Irresponsible Fear Farming.

Read this.

Right, now you've read the whole thing, hands up who thinks that the headline should be "EURO POLICE COULD SOON BE ALLOWED TO INVESTIGATE BRITONS IN UK, ASSUMING THE GOVERNMENT OPTS IN TO A SCHEME THAT WOULD ALSO ALLOW BRITISH POLICE TO TRACK FOREIGN SUSPECTS - ALTHOUGH WE DON'T KNOW TO WHAT EXTENT THE LAW WILL STRETCH YET"?

Scaremongering over a non story that contains far too many 'could's, 'might's and 'in theories', of course; but it's about Europe, so where did it appear in another one of the UK's papers today?



Ah. Yeah.